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Survey Says

“According to Ikea, 11 percent of people are now having secks in their kitchens … Maybe people are having trouble putting their Ikea bedroom sets together.” Ikea says Jay Leno told that joke on the Tonight Show, but as reported by Deborah Baldwin in The New York Times, (3/2/06) the real joke was the survey itself: “Blame that journalistic chestnut known as the trend story, the one with the ‘more and more’ phrase up top,” she writes. “With journalists scrounging for statistics to shore up their latest anecdotal observations, publicists are helpfully flooding the zone with scientific-sounding findings.”

For instance, “precisely 82 percent of respondents in a recent survey said that shopping carts were ‘among the worst’ germ offenders” via a press release from BabeEase, makers of “shopping cart seat covers for germ-phobic parents of young children … A survey for Sears concluded that a woman’s best friend is her tool kit” and reports: “Three out of five women would rather receive an hour of advice from Bob Vila than Dr. Phil … A survey done for eBay and Country Home magazine found that for millions of women, collecting is ‘a way of life’” and “that eBay had made collecting ‘easier’ and ‘more fun’.”

eBay’s PR department really likes the survey thing, apparently: “Another eBay survey, also probing the secret lives of women, uncovered a shortcoming among those who remodel. Nearly half said the most difficult part of the process … is staying within budget.” eBay’s advice: “Many of today’s best bargains can be found on the internet.” Okay, we have time for just one more (and more): “A stunning 78 percent of Americans surveyed had never traveled to visit a patriotic home,” according to a press release from the Wood Promotion Network, issued on the Fourth of July. The release went on to observe that “if they were to visit a patriotic home — Mount Vernon, say — they would be interested to learn that these houses were built … of wood." ~ Tim Manners, editor